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Quotes, and specifically funny quotes, can lighten our hearts and brighten our days!
From the All Quotes Team
When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.
Ps 128:2
It's sad for a girl to reach the age
Where men consider her charmless,
But it's worse for a man to attain the age
Where the girls consider him harmless.
Anon
Money has wings, and it is not a homing pigeon
Anon
Movie actor's salary: the haul of fame.
Anon.
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Wedding Speeches Tips
A Bachelor never makes the same mistake once.
Anon
Need Some Comic Relief?
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I think we can all use some comic relief from time to time, laughter is the best medicine. So I thought I’ll tell you about this crazy e-book I found. Email Wit and Humor.
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You'll find that most joke sites cut and paste the same old jokes and leave the errors in until they aren't funny and you feel weird about reading something that isn't even spelled right. these jokes are great. EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR starts out funny and gets funnier the more you read.
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Although EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR is generally meant for an adult audience, it will not be considered offensive to be read by teenagers, even children. You'll hardly find anything vulgar, gross, disgusting, racist, sexist or demeaning to anyone, except blondes. And those are hysterical!
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The trouble with antique shop is that their prices are so modern.
Anon
A farmer who sent for a book on How to Grow Tomatoes wrote the publisher: "The man who writ the ad shoulda writ the book"
Anon
When a man and wife say they always see eye to eye, they are probably the same height.
Anon
The surest way to get a job done is to give it to a busy man. He'll have his secretary do it.
Anon
A luxury automatically becomes a necessity when you find you can make the down payment.
Anon
Married men do not live longer than unmarried men. It just seems that way.
Anon
The Lord gave us two ends to use,
One to think with; one to sit on
It all depends on which you choose:
Heads you win, tails you lose.
Anon
It was just the other say,
In a fortune-telling place,
A pretty maiden read my mind-
And then she slapped my face.
Anon
There's no trick to being humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Will Rogers
Apun is the lowest fjorm of humor - when you don't think of it first.
Oscar Levant
I probably don't deserve this-
But then i do have Arthritis-
and i don't deserve that either.
Anon
Man has his will; but woman has her way.
O. W. Holmes
Here are some proverbs from different nations.
There is no law without a loophole fjor him who can find it.
German
A lier needs a good memory.
Latin
A hundred years hence we shall all be bald.
Spanish
God made the country and man made the town.
William Cowper
Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.
Benjamin Franklin
Since Adam's time, fools have been in the majority.
French
No one is satisfied with his fortune, nor disstisfied with his intellect.
French
Everything is funny as long as it happens to somebody else.
Anon
Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Some find Monogamy to be the same thing.
Anon
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