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Quotes, and specifically funny quotes, can lighten our hearts and brighten our days!

From the All Quotes Team


When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.

Ps 128:2

 

It's sad for a girl to reach the age

Where men consider her charmless,

But it's worse for a man to attain the age

Where the girls consider him harmless.

Anon

 

Money has wings, and it is not a homing pigeon

Anon

 

Movie actor's salary: the haul of fame.

Anon.

 

funny quotes

funny quotes

 


Download Lots Of Free E-Books!

 

Wedding Speeches Tips

 

 

A Bachelor never makes the same mistake once.

Anon


funny quotes

funny quotes


Need Some Comic Relief?


I think we can all use some comic relief from time to time, laughter is the best medicine. So I thought I’ll tell you about this crazy e-book I found. Email Wit and Humor.


"Email Wit and Humor" .. a huge collection of jokes, wit and humorous anecdotes.


EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR has 1,000 PAGES of political, Microsoft, men/women, religion, children's and other jokes.


You'll find that most joke sites cut and paste the same old jokes and leave the errors in until they aren't funny and you feel weird about reading something that isn't even spelled right. these jokes are great. EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR starts out funny and gets funnier the more you read.


Although EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR is generally meant for an adult audience, it will not be considered offensive to be read by teenagers, even children. You'll hardly find anything vulgar, gross, disgusting, racist, sexist or demeaning to anyone, except blondes. And those are hysterical!


EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR is the perfect gift for friends, co-workers, old girlfriends, dumped boyfriends, those in your family, the garbage man for his night with beer and chatting, your famous book group members, and or anyone you know who needs the medicine of laughter.


DOWNLOAD EMAIL WIT AND HUMOR NOW. ACCESS IS INSTANT. START GETTING BETTER. START LAUGHING NOW.



funny quotes

funny quotes


The trouble with antique shop is that their prices are so modern.

Anon



A farmer who sent for a book on How to Grow Tomatoes wrote the publisher: "The man who writ the ad shoulda writ the book"

Anon



When a man and wife say they always see eye to eye, they are probably the same height.

Anon


 

The surest way to get a job done is to give it to a busy man. He'll have his secretary do it.

Anon

 

 

A luxury automatically becomes a necessity when you find you can make the down payment.

Anon

 

Married men do not live longer than unmarried men. It just seems that way.

Anon

 

 

The Lord gave us two ends to use,

One to think with; one to sit on

It all depends on which you choose:

Heads you win, tails you lose.

Anon

 

 

It was just the other say,

In a fortune-telling place,

A pretty maiden read my mind-

And then she slapped my face.

Anon

 

There's no trick to being humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Will Rogers

 

 

Apun is the lowest fjorm of humor - when you don't think of it first.

Oscar Levant


I probably don't deserve this-

But then i do have Arthritis-

and i don't deserve that either.

Anon



Man has his will; but woman has her way.

O. W. Holmes


 

Here are some proverbs from different nations.

 

There is no law without a loophole fjor him who can find it.

German

 

 

A lier needs a good memory.

Latin

 

 

A hundred years hence we shall all be bald.

Spanish

 


God made the country and man made the town.

William Cowper

 

 

Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults.

Benjamin Franklin

 

 

Since Adam's time, fools have been in the majority.

French

 

 

No one is satisfied with his fortune, nor disstisfied with his intellect.

French

 

 

Everything is funny as long as it happens to somebody else.

Anon


Bigamy is having one wife too many.

Some find Monogamy to be the same thing.

Anon



How to be FUNNY!


Learn from a REAL, accomplished professional


Why waste your time on empty smoke and theory when you can learn from those who have already made it in the field?


What Makes 'How to be FUNNY!' The BEST Way To Learn?

 

  • No more wasting time memorizing jokes
  • No traveling to classes and scheduled commitments
  • No thick joke books you'll never read
  • No prior humor sense needed - You don't need to be even remotely funny now
  • No waiting for anything to arrive in the mail
  • No extra postage and handling costs

What you will get is:

 

  • Step-by-step teaching at your PC whenever it suits you         
  • Complete understanding of how all humor in the world works
  • The secret of humor generation, and 13 advanced techniques to intensify and maximize the simple humor generated
  • All these in very very simple steps to kick-start your skills and take you to a higher level REAL FAST

 

For Instant Access Click Here.......

 


Quote From The Bible.

 


Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the Lord his God,

Ps 146:5 

 

 

He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.

Pr 16:20 

 

 

Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law.

Pr 29:18 

 

 

He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.

Pr 16:20

 

 

Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.

Ro 14:22

 

How to be FUNNY!


Learn from a REAL, accomplished professional


Why waste your time on empty smoke and theory when you can learn from those who have already made it in the field?


What Makes 'How to be FUNNY!' The BEST Way To Learn?

 

  • No more wasting time memorizing jokes
  • No traveling to classes and scheduled commitments
  • No thick joke books you'll never read
  • No prior humor sense needed - You don't need to be even remotely funny now
  • No waiting for anything to arrive in the mail
  • No extra postage and handling costs

What you will get is:

 

  • Step-by-step teaching at your PC whenever it suits you         
  • Complete understanding of how all humor in the world works
  • The secret of humor generation, and 13 advanced techniques to intensify and maximize the simple humor generated
  • All these in very very simple steps to kick-start your skills and take you to a higher level REAL FAST

 

For Instant Access Click Here.......

 


 

Buy-Ebook.com


The Buy-Ebook.com site has got a great collection of the best ebooks which are sold on the Internet, but at a lower price than on any other site.


Buying ebook (digital book) is more preferable than buying usual one:


  • You can buy ebook without leaving home, from your personal computer.
  • You get ebook immediately after buying, and you can save it on your hard disk or print. You needn’t go to bookshop or wait for book-mail.
  • You can quickly choose the ebook you need with the help of our directory or search system - only enter keywords. In bookshop it may take you the whole day.
  • Ebook doesn’t occupy your shelf. It isn’t getting dusty and old.
  • At last, you can make your computer read this ebook to you (with the help of special program).

Buy ebooks on their site.

Buy-Ebook.com hope the Buy-Ebook.com catalogue, consisting of 50+ categories, will help you to find the book you need. Buy-Ebook.com also have a high-quality database search engine.


For Instant Access Click Here........

 

Wedding Speeches Tips

 

 

The English winter-ending in July to recommence in August.

Lord Byron


The best audience is intelligent, well educated and well oiled!

Anon

 

Wedding Speeches Tips

 

Spice up your speech or article; use quotes, funny quotes!





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