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Wedding Speeches Tips

1. Commanding. Ordering people around tends to produce resentment and anger. Statements beginning with, ”You must…,“ ”You have to…“ or ”You ought to…“ often produce responses (usually not verbalized to the boss), such as ”Who do you think you are? I know my job a lot better than you do“
2. Threatening statements such as, ”If you don’t…“or ”You had better…“ encourage rebellion and attempts to beat the system.
3. Giving unsolicited advice. The only advice that is valid is advice that is asked for. The statement, ”What you should do is…“ often produces ”I’ll do it my own way…“

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4. Vague language. Saying, ”We need to come up with a better system…“ produces confusion. Is the employee getting an assignment? Is the boss going to do it? Is the boss looking for suggestions? Is the employee being blamed for not updating the system“
5. Withholding information. Phrases such as, ”That’s management confidential“ ”You don’t have a need to know…“ or, ”If I wanted to let you know, then I would have told you…“ results in response such as, ”My boss doesn’t care about me. I’ll have to get my information from the people who do…“
6. Name calling. Confronting employees by saying ”You are careless“ or ”You’re getting lazy“ will produce defensive response such as, ”Who do you think you are to judge me? …“You’re twice as bad as I am…“

7. Patronizing. Even a compliment can be taken the wrong way. A lot has to do with the employee’s experience with the current boss and with the past bosses. A comment like ”I’m glad you finally got the project done…“ may be thought of as positive by the boss, but negative by the employee. ”You’re doing a great job …“ can be taken as patronizing if appropriate actions don’t follow these positive words.
8. Playing psychologist. Starting a sentence with…“Your problem is…“ will produce ”You don’t really know anything about me. Why don’t you take care of your problems first…“ Unfortunately, performance reviews often set up bosses as amateur psychologists trying to judge personality, intentions and psychological makeup.
9. Avoiding issues. This may be the biggest complaint against bosses. We‘ve all heard ”Let me check it out and I’ll get back to you“ and ”Now’s not a good time…“ or ”That’s not a priority item right now…“ The employee response often is ”Here we go again. Another issue avoided…“
10. Sarcastic remarks. Wise cracks that put people down, such as ”I’m glad to see you finally made it in time…“ will be met with hostility. Managers often think, They know I was kidding. We have a great relationship. We joke all the time.“ They don’t connect their sarcasm to high turnover, low production, high absenteeism and low morale.

 

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1. Develop trust. It’s not automatically given; it must be earned.
2. Openly communicate more than you have to or need to. Make it your priority.
3. Be as specific as possible in the words and phrases you use.
4. Supply whatever background information and reasons people need to understand changes.
5. Be absolutely honest with all employees.
6. Actively share information and feelings.
7. Talk to an employee as one adult to another (the way you would like your boss talk to you).
8. Always solicit employee ideas, suggestions and reactions.
9. Follow through, always – no exceptions.
10. Recognize that the job of the manager is to remove roadblocks, irritants and frustration, not put them there.

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